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THE BLUET

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In 1946, a strange man visited me and asked, "Are you Mr. Kim Yonghwan's daughter?" For me, this was an odd question because I was more used to being called the daughter of a parakho. "I'm your father's friend. You may wonder if it is true, but your father," the man said. At that moment, I was expecting disappointing news since I did not have good memories of my father.

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Back in the 1920's, whenever people saw me in the village, they would say, "There goes the parakho's daughter." My father was a son from a very rich family. Instead of living the life of a seonbi, he was always at the gambling house. That is why he was called a parakho, which means someone who ruins his family's fortune. "Your father has gambled away all of the money, and now he's asking for more. Go and tell him that we have no more money left," my mother would tell me whenever she sent me to the gambling house. Then, my father would yell at me angrily, "Why did you come empty-handed? Bring me more money!"

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When I was sixteen years old, my family had already made an arrangement for me to marry Mr. Seo. As part of the wedding tradition, Mr. Seo's family sent my family some money to buy a new chest for clothes. Right before the wedding day, my mother came into my room and said, "Your father has taken the money for the chest." I asked angrily, "How could he do such a horrible thing? What should we do now?" "We have no choice. You'll have to take your aunt's old chest," my mother said. "How embarrassing for the family," people would whisper behind my back. Since the first day of marriage, life at my husband's house had been difficult for me.

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"Your father, my dear friend," my father's friend continued his story. "He was not a gambler. Your father sent the family money to the independence fighters in Manchuria. He made himself look like a gambler to keep this a secret from the Japanese officers." At first, I was not sure if he was telling the truth. But afterwards, I found out the truth about my father and I realized that I had been wrong about him. Ever since that moment, I have been proud to be the daughter of a parakho who had devoted his life to the independence movement.

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The world sends us garbage, we send back music. "The world sends us garbage, we send back music." This was written on the back of a concert ticket I was given. The musical group was called "The Junk Orchestra." They played instruments made entirely out of garbage. I could not imagine what kind of sound these instruments would make, so I was eager to find out.

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