Carlos: Now that your boyfriend has moved out, you need a roommate. There’s no way you can afford this apartment on your own.
Inez: I know, but I really don’t want to live with a stranger. I’d have to put up with all of their quirks.
Carlos: I don’t think you have a choice. You need someone to split the rent and the cost of utilities, not to mention your cable bill.
Inez: I’d need someone who could keep the common areas neat and clean, and who can keep their hands off my stuff.
Carlos: I’m sure you’ll manage to find someone with those qualities.
Inez: They’d have to help with chores around the apartment, too, and pitch in with general upkeep.
Carlos: No doubt there’s someone out there who wouldn’t mind doing that.
Inez: Hey, aren’t you looking for a place to live? You could move in here.
Carlos: You mean share an apartment with you? No thanks.
Inez: Why not?
Carlos: I’d just rather not. I don’t think we’d suit.
Inez: Why wouldn’t we?
Carlos: Do you really want me to spell it out for you?
Inez: Yes, in fact, I insist.
Carlos: All right. Let’s just say that you’re a little bit grouchy in the mornings. You know that monster in the Alien movies?
Inesz: Yes. [silence.]
Carlos: Ouch! Ouch! Stop hitting me!
Script by Dr. Lucy Tse